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Monday, June 30, 2008

What is the role of a thought?

Why is a thought so important? Does it have any significance?

I realized during this morning meditation that a small little thought (oscillating in mind) increases to the order of 10 ten times in its size and power even before it comes out as a word. Further, if the thought continues to exist in mind, after becoming words they multiply by another factor of 10 (both in its size and power) before it becomes action.

In other words, if a thought sneaks inside my mind, it would simply keep on increasing in its size and power by a factor of 10 (as word) and 100 (as action), before it becomes a habit and further character. Further, this complete process (thoughts becoming words leading to an action) may happen in a few minutes.

These numbers and visualization along with some recent experiences shook me up. I realized how important it is to filter each thought, for its inherent exponentially multiplying power and size.

Therefore, I pray to God to give me the right thinking to allow only divine thoughts to enter my mind.

With this prayer, I aspire that I think what the divinity wants me to think, I speak what the divinity wants me to speak, I write what the divinity wants me to write and I act the way divinity wants me to act.

I am wishing that each new thought entering (and the ones already existing) in my mind lead to further my spiritual growth, the welfare of the community, and blesses me with an ability to share love with all people around me.

Aum Tat Sat

June 30th, 2008

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Thinking about Amma (prayer + audio)

WARNING TO READERS

I am hoping that you will read this with an open heart and a closed mind. If you can't do it, please don't read any further. Please STOP now and move out of this window.

***
ABOUT THIS POEM

This is the first ever love poem that has come through me. I take pride in sharing it with you.

I have been singing the first line of this poem for over three weeks, ever since I met Amma on June 7th, 2008 (as described in a writing at http://surrenderlistenandgive.blogspot.com/2008/06/embracing-ammas-love.html). However, the rest of the poem poured out (last week) from my heart while driving alone in the car, taking a solitary walk and during tearful meditations. Presently, I am experiencing a joy in singing it loud most of the time. The tune of this poem is based on the first line of the ghazal (a type of song) "Socha Nahin Achha Bura..." sung by my favorite ghazal singer Jagjit Singh. Therefore, I would like to send my heartfelt salutes to him (and his team).

Even though this poem was born after I met Amma recently, but truly speaking the word “Amma” has been implicitly used to represent “divine mother”.

Also there are words, like“Meri” (meaning My), “Pyari” (meaning Dear) and “Amma” (meaning mother) in Hindi language (my mother-tongue) which I have retained, even though their corresponding English words rhyme (and can be replaced) as well. I have done so, because each time I find myself singing this poem, I am involuntarily using the original Hindi words. In fact, sometimes when I forced myself using the corresponding English words, they just did not feel that intimate. Therefore respecting the sanctity of the original, free flowing lyrics, I chose to retain them.

I also take this as an opportunity to convey warm thanks to Harshal, Samrat, Alka and Chandana for helping in bringing together of the you tube link.

Since, I truly feel that this love poem can ONLY be assimilated by a devoted heart. Therefore, for those who have one, here is my offering, with love, "Amma, Amma".

***
To feel the devotion in this poem, please click on play button (on the picture) to listen and read the lyrics that follow. The audio starts playing after 6 seconds.



***

Please note that in the following lyrics,
"Amma or aum-ma" means divine mother,
"Meri" means my and
"Pyari" means dear.

***

THINKING ABOUT AMMA

Amma, aum-ma, amma, aum-ma.
Amma, aum-ma, amma, aum-ma.
Meri amma, pyari amma.
Amma, amma, meri amma.

Plead you amma, hear me aum-ma.
Plead you amma, hear me aum-ma.
Amma, aum-ma, amma, aum-ma.
Meri amma, pyari amma.

Seek you amma, bless me aum-ma.
Seek you amma, bless me aum-ma.
Amma, aum-ma, amma, aum-ma.
Meri amma, pyari amma.

Need you amma, hug me aum-ma.
Need you amma, hug me aum-ma.
Amma, aum-ma, amma, aum-ma.
Meri amma, pyari amma.

Feel you amma, fill me aum-ma.
Feel you amma, fill me aum-ma.
Amma, aum-ma, amma, aum-ma.
Meri amma, pyari amma.

Trust you amma, take me aum-ma.
Trust you amma, take me aum-ma.
Amma, aum-ma, amma, aum-ma.
Meri amma, pyari amma.

Amma, aum-ma, amma, aum-ma.
Amma, aum-ma, amma, aum-ma.
Meri amma, pyari amma.
Amma, amma, meri amma.


Humbly Yours,

Gunjan

July 7th, 2008


Posted by Gunjan at 4:35 PM

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Congratulating Parents on Having a Baby (poem)

I wanted to congratulate some friends who had been blessed with a baby with a writing. While waiting in the parking lot before picking up my daughter, this is what came out.

***

Dear Mom (and Dad),

Congratulations on having a new baby.

With a new baby in your life,
let a new “love shine” in your life,
let a new “joy smile” in your life, and
let a new “light come” into your life.

With a new baby in your life,
let there be new “beginnings” in your life,
let there be new “choices” in your life, and
let there be new “fun games” in your life.

With a new baby in your life,
let yourself enjoy more “park” time in your life,
let yourself enjoy more “music” time in your life, and
let yourself enjoy more “dance” time in your life.

With a new baby in your life,
let divine “patience” bless your life,
let divine “tolerance” bless your life, and
let divine “giving” bless your life.

Congratulations on having a new baby.

Affectionately,

Gunjan (and Chakravarty Family)

Saturday, June 21, 2008

How do I detach from people?

I keep reminding myself not to attach to people, but still I land up getting attached to people. How do I overcome attachment?

This morning I made myself a sandwich in an old-style aluminum sandwich toaster on the stove. When it was done, I opened it. I found out that one slice was stuck to the side of the toaster. I forced it out with a knife but still some bread remained on the toaster. While struggling to scrape off that piece of bread, I realized that even though I had used the non-stick spray; it was not enough and definitely not well-spread.

In that moment it struck me that even though I understand that dear people around me are God’s and not mine. Further, God has placed them around me as for a bigger purpose. Still I often find myself difficult to detach with the thoughts of attachment towards them. Perhaps, it is so because I am forgetting to remember God and the truth about attachment as often as it is needed.

The lesson is that the next time, a thought of attachment surfaces up, I need to consciously remind myself, “Nobody is mine and therefore I need to let go.”; before that thought spreads out like secondary waves spread out on throwing a rock in a pond. So, I need to stop myself from creating those waves. I need to remember the truth as soon as I lift a stone to throw it into a pond, else the thoughts would form and propagate.

Therefore, just like I needed to use the nonstick spray effectively to keep the bread from sticking, similarly I need to remember God and the above mentioned truth at the very first thought of attachment. I know it needs a lot of awareness, but it is worth it.

Now onwards, I need to start spreading the spray and remembering the relevant truth; before it is too late.

Friday, June 20, 2008

How do I focus my thoughts?

How do I keep my mind from getting perturbed from all kinds of thoughts it encounters?

It involves two steps.
* Reflection on thoughts during mediation, as and when needed.
** Focusing those reflected thoughts towards a single thought, peace.

These two steps are so much like an optics setup, where the incoming light is reflected using a reflecting mirror. Since angle of incidence is equal to angle of reflection, therefore by varying the angle at which the mirror is lying with respect to the incident light ray different incident wavelengths can be directed towards the same direction. The second step involves the focusing of all incident rays or broad spectrum light to a single point using a converging lens, like how we focus sunlight to a given point on a paper using a hand lens and notice that it starts burning; confirming the intensity is so high that it starts burning.

Similarly, different thoughts from all possible sources can be reflected towards peace by just meditating as often as needed. All meditation does is, reflects my thoughts and directs me towards peaceful thoughts. Once my random-disturbing thoughts have been reflected towards peace they can be focused at peace by constant remembrance.

Therefore, mediation acts like a reflecting mirror and constant remembrance acts like a hand lens or a converging lens.

This 2 step method is surely makes peaceful any time and each time.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Embracing Amma’s Love

On Friday, June 6th, 2008, I was taking a walk after dinner. While walking I was contemplating on my heartfelt wish to meet Amma (much known as the hugging saint) at San Ramon Ashram the next day. I knew that was the only day when I could go and get that much-needed hug from her.

I recollected the family hug I had received (from her) two years ago (in June, 2006) at the same venue. Back then, I had sensed special warmth in her hug which was the same as I had felt, only in my mother’s hug. During that family hug (which she had given to my husband, daughter, son and I all together) my kids were in between me and her. But even in that fraction of the complete hug I could feel my mother’s love; something I had been missing out on ever since my mother left this world (in September, 1996). That was one memorable moment for me and I fondly talked about it to my dear friends. After listening to that, most of my friends had shown interest in accompanying me next time.

Of late, my heart and body had been awfully missing and craving for my mother’s hug. I knew Amma could give me that. Therefore, I was having a strong feeling that now the time for the next visit had arrived.

But the next moment, a loud voice from within reminded me, “Can’t you see, you are getting too attached to Amma and therefore craving for her. Aren’t you getting over emotional about another human being?”

To answer that question, a soft voice from within asked me, “Don’t you know from your last experience that Amma is a highly evolved soul and that she is not just another human being?”

After listening to those two conflicting voices I decided to pray hard, send out my intention, try my best to meet her and then stay open to whatever follows.

During the last leg of the walk, I started going through the facts. The ashram is over 1 hour drive from my home. To take it easy on my healing back, I better get a ride. My husband is not so interested in meeting Amma. I need to call up somebody, who is equally keen on meeting Amma, etc...

I stepped back into home with a clear plan of action. First, I asked my husband and kids if they wanted to join me for the hug. And, I heard a clear ‘no’ in different modest words from each one of them.

Then I called up a friend who had recently shared her eagerness to meet Amma and left her a detailed voice message.

As a last step, I called up my first yoga teacher who had introduced Amma (through her picture) to me 6 years ago; and left her an explicit message.

Within minutes, she called me back and very affectionately offered me a ride from her home to the venue and back. I was overjoyed on realizing that finally, the time to meet Amma had come.

***
Next morning, we (my yoga teacher, her 3 year old daughter and I) drove towards our destination while listening to the devotional music sung by Amma’s group.

Once we reached the Ashram and collected our tokens to get a hug, I noticed an identical peaceful smile on the faces of all devotees; as if a “peace spray” had been sprinkled in the air. I noticed that most of the devotees were frequently saying “Aum Namah Shivay” to each other with folded hands. Soon, I realized that it was their “sacred mantra” to greet one another and to say sorry, excuse me or thank you in the ashram. In addition there was a conspicuous excitement. Devotees of all ages, sex, color or background visiting from all over the world were anxiously waiting for Amma to arrive; as if a very dear family member was arriving after decades.

Amma arrived in time and initiated the meditation. I was sitting on a chair about 6 meters away from her and therefore got a clear glimpse of her profile before closing my eyes. But as soon as I started meditating, something happened within me and I just broke down. I experienced a strong-and-a-forceful urge to run and get a big squeezing bear hug from Amma. I remembered my mother, her hug, her warmth and other relevant memories while crying.

Next, I heard a female voice whispering close to my ears, “Here are the tissues”, while placing soft tissues inside my folded palms. I kept on making those dry tissues moist (without opening my eyes) and that caring lady kept on rubbing my back gently.

After a long time, when I finally opened my eyes, I noticed that the mediation was over and Amma had started hugging. The lady who was rubbing my back, turned out to be a volunteer in white blouse/skirt and a blue scarf. With a warm smile, she suggested me to step out for fresh air.

Once we were outside, she told me about her own emotional experience (which had lasted for 6 hours) on meeting Amma the first time. On hearing that, I asked her (in a soft voice) as to why I did not experience all this “urge and burst” 2 years ago. She explained me that back then I must have been a totally different person; spiritually and emotionally. I knew that was true. When she saw me nodding in agreement, she started nodding her own head. Then confirming with her wide-opened eyes she said, “You know it is good to cry around Amma.” Without talking any further, we walked back together quietly.

While waiting for my turn to come, I found myself constantly looking at Amma. The emotional cycle of breaking-down-and-calming-down continued. Despite all that, I could sense that even her presence was sacred. I experienced an uplifting energy (which I otherwise feel only during meditation) while sobbing, pausing to admire Amma or walking around in that vast hall.

When my turn finally came to stand 2 meters away from her, I found myself in a dazed state. I could see that she was surrounded by 4 white-sari-clad women, who were leading devotees towards her and then pulling them out of her embrace after few seconds.

While stepping closer towards Amma I observed that I was neither happy, nor sad; I was simply quiet and blank.

When Amma called me in her arms and my forehead touched her chest, I just broke down in frequent-periodic-loud-emotional-bursts-without-any-tears; much like the aligned and streamlined movement of otherwise randomly moving electrons, the moment they encounter a complete electric circuit. In that moment, it felt as if I had got ALL I ever wanted to. In the next few seconds, I received my mother’s love in that full-and-fulfilling embrace from Amma.

Before taking her hands off my back, she whispered a few affectionate words in my ear. Then she placed me a few things inside my palm, closed the fist and lifted me off her.

As I walked away from her, I found myself rushing towards that far away wall of the hall. I started howling with my face and palms pushing against the wall. But soon, I found myself calming down (on my own) for good. After that I felt light, fresh and immense contentment all over me; a contentment which I had observed only on the face of my new born babies while nursing them.

In that blissful moment, I felt a new awareness of "completeness within me".

When I came outside the hall, my yoga teacher and another devotee (who had seen me getting the hug), told me that Amma did not allow any of those 4 white-sari-clad women, pull me off her. They told me they could see it was a special and a strong hug. On hearing that, I was really touched by Amma’s sensitivity (to detect my unspoken needs) and compassion (by responding accordingly).

After having lunch at the dinning hall, I briefly sat next to the beautiful lake with swans and lotuses. There, I sensed a quiet-and-a-still space within me, much like the apparent calmness-and-the-vastness of that lake.

***

When I reached home, I felt physically worn out but emotionally 100% recharged. Though very unlike me, I just wished to be quiet even the next day.

The next night, during my phone conversation with my father (in India), I shared that awesome feeling of “absolute completeness”. He told me that he was very happy for me, because he had not sensed “it” in almost 7 decades of his life; "something" he definitely desires to experience (even if it is only for a few seconds) one day.

Recently, after meditation, I registered that Amma gave the same love to me 2 years ago and now; but the present experience was different, for this time I was much more open to receiving.

Ever since I met her, I am finding myself smiling while singing loudly (when alone) or humming softly (around others), “Amma, Amma…” to the tune of my favorite Jagjit Singh's ghazal titled, “Socha nahin achha bura …”; while thinking about her smiling face.

Aum Namah Shivay
----
Note to readers-

Aum-the universal sound is to read as OM
Namah Shivay-means namaste (greetings with folded hands) to Lord Shiva
----

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Sowing the seed of Inquisitiveness

Introduction

In October, 2007, I explored “speed” with 9 and 10 year old students in my daughter’s class. My intention was to make the students open their inherent “wisdom” box to explore the world around them. Even though it was the first such lesson, I felt that similar exposures have the potential to sow the "seed of inquisitiveness” in these students, just the way it was sown in my mind, when I was 9 years old.

My first science fair

When I was 9 years old, I saw "something so interesting" in my first science fair, that it left a lifelong impact on my mind.

That science fair had been put up by middle school students in the largest room of my small school. The students who had set up “that interesting” project were 2 girls. I knew one of those girls very well as she was my friend’s elder sister.

On that fateful day, I was drifting along with all the other students of my class slowly along a long line. The middle school students were explaining what they were exhibiting in their projects.

Since I was very comfortable with my friend’s sister, while continuing to look at the 3-D display I kept on asking her questions, one after another.

On one side, that display showed how people can irrigate their fields by using water from the well. On the other side it displayed how, when the same water was made to fall on a turbine, it rotated and generated electricity. That simple layout of plastic 2 inches tall “toy-farmer”, hand colored “brown brick well”, “blue colored water” on the base is still fresh in my memory. I clearly remember that it depicted an example of consuming electricity by showing 4 inches tall “street lights” standing on either side of the gray colored “streets” (marked on the base of the display). That complete display which was contained on a 12” x 24” cardboard base spoke volumes to me that day.

While I was bombarding questions, I noticed that all the students behind me had walked way ahead, admiring the colors, working demonstrations and the projects of other exhibitors. I knew I was getting late to catch up with them, but I could not stop myself from asking more and more questions (with my eyes continuously glued on that display). I think those two girls from middle school got tired of answering my endless questions and reminded me that I better catch up with my classmates. I saw my friend’s sister plucking a little toy from her display and offering it to me (as a little gift) just before I ran to catch up with my classmates.

That day I did not get to see any of the other projects, but I felt I did not really miss anything. That simple project (about generation of electricity from water) had sown the seed of inquiry within me.

Pursuing Physics

In the next few years, I realized that I really enjoyed studying Math, Physics and some parts of Chemistry. Whether, the teacher who taught Physics was good, OK, or very bad, it did not matter to me.

On the other hand, I used to feel sorry for some of my friends who were not comfortable with Physics. Finding them at unease, I would try to explain them that Physics is one of the simplest and most fascinating subjects and is not at all scary and complex. But at that stage my words did not help them, and I helplessly watched them losing interest in Physics at the middle school.

Back then, I knew it for sure that the science fairs, the 3-D displays, the demonstrations and the textbook are not sufficient to draw all the students towards Physics, especially the average and the below average students. But back then, I did not know what could draw them to Physics.

I continued to pursue Physics, without any breaks, for almost next two decades; till I completed my Ph. D. from Indian Institute of Technology, Delhi.

Teaching Physics

After that I came to US and soon after started teaching Physics at the local university.

While teaching, I realized that most of my adult students had developed “fear” and a “closed mind” towards learning familiar-yet-semi-understood Laws of Physics in a new way. Most of them also lacked strong fundamentals and interest in the subject. Due to the curriculum constraints; I found myself teaching them how to solve complicated equations (following a textbook) and giving tests. I realized I was doing everything other than sharing my joy of learning Physics. I felt as if I were watering the leaves instead of roots.

I remembered my friends at school who had quit Physics after struggling with it in middle school and my helplessness.

It was around the same time that, I took some time “off paid work” to raise my new born son. During that period, I tried doing Physics activities, as a volunteering parent at my daughter’s private school(s) for grades K-8. My intention was that the students start exploring the laws of Physics while playing, that they using their inherent “wisdom” boxes to probe their surroundings.

It was during this period that I observed something astonishing. The simpler I made the topic and the lesser the number of gadgets I used, the more the students opened-up-their-own-selves to explore. Further, the students who were most active and probing were the youngest ones in elementary school rather than the ones in the middle school. I observed that the younger the kids the better they were as explorers.

The middle school students were visibly conscious and constrained in exploring magnets. They were started searching for the north and the south of the magnet (which, I had hidden with a tape). They wasted their time and energy in recalling their textbook knowledge.

On the other hand the younger kids simply had fun exploring a fountain erupting out of a test tube full of iron filings when a magnet was brought on its top. They were free of any pre-existing knowledge.

Even amongst all elementary school students, I noticed that age 9/10 is the “perfect” age when an average student has developed the “right combination of” of communication skills, self discipline and an open-ripe exploring mind to explore omnipresent laws of Physics.

Looking back it was co-incidentally the same age when I got hooked into Physics. So, I realized that “somehow” there is a big potential at this age. I felt that age 9/10 is a critical age when a student can either get into a subject or off a subject, depending on the teacher, parents, curriculum and his own inclination. Further, the inclination can be tailored; even if it is not there naturally. I had realized this purely by observing without reading any child psychology books or talking to the teachers at that grade level.

Watering the roots

Taking the next step in this direction (in October, 2007); I explored concept speed with 4th/5th graders; simply using bathroom rolls and chalk pieces. The bathroom rolls were used because they roll better on the carpet and are less distracting to the students. A detailed story about activity is at http://surrenderlistenandgive.blogspot.com/2007/10/exploring-speed-with-9-year-olds.html

Using bathroom rolls, the claps (for measuring time) and footsteps (for measuring distance) the students concluded that the faster speed implied
(a) less time was needed to cover a given distance and
(b) more distance was covered in a given time.

Without using any textbooks or equations had concluded the same inferences as are implied by the standard equation “speed = distance / time”.

It was a wonderful experience that day for me to able to make those 9 year old students grasp the concept of “speed” without using any equations, theory, demonstrations, gadgets or magic tricks. All they used, was their inherent “wisdom boxes”, things available and a little guidance.
When I saw the “new” twinkle in the student’s eyes while smiling, I felt that the “roots” had been watered.

Sowing the seed

By pursuing this teaching via exploration, I am hoping that a lot of students (like my friends at school) who hated Physics would start enjoying it. I am wishing that one day, all students (including the average and below average students) will start feeling comfortable with Physics and overcome fear of encountering “complicated equations” in middle and high schools.

Since I could clearly see a small preview of successful “tailoring of inclination” towards the subject at my daughter’s school; now, I know that learning Physics via exploring has the potential to draw students towards the subject.

This is in addition to the fact that nobody can be taught. However, a dedicated teacher, through guidance can provide pointers towards student’s (in grade4/5) inner wisdom at the level they can comprehend. After that the students will do the learning on their own, simply via exploring.

By learning to explore at school, the students would get interested in the subject and will be better prepared to encounter "complicated equations" in middle and high schools. This in turn would help them shoot through the college pre-requisite courses to pursue all technology related fields (including computer science and engineering) and in boosting their self confidence; which everyone understands are much-needed-fuels-to-boost-our-country's-economy. In the long term perspective, it is obvious that these students would significantly contribute in raising a next generation of exploring learners and better citizens of the world.

We all know that all significant ideas start off as a powerful thought of an individual, grows with support from few like minded people and blossoms into beautiful flowers appreciated by everyone. Along the same lines, “learning Physics via exploration” is a humble beginning for sowing-the-seed of-inquisitiveness in elementary school students; lest they should shut their minds off-Physics before hitting the middle school. Just the way it was sown inside me (in my first science fair).

Aspiration

Presently, I am aspiring to offer my knowledge of Physics, passion to teach and love to share the joy of learning Physics with elementary schools students (in grade 4 and 5) of our community; something that does not exist presently in their curriculum. For the simple reason, that the LAWS OF PHYSICS CAN BE LEARNT WITH LITTLE GUIDANCE AND MORE AWARENESS.

I understand that for this to happen in elementary schools, I need financial support and openness from parents/teachers/school authorities. Till the time, these elements get arranged I aspire to continue doing the same, in the schools I can and share these experiences wherever I can; incessantly.

This I aspire with a conviction that when one sends out a sincere intention, the universe arranges for it to happen.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)