I used to hurry to finish, but now, its fun to enjoy the process (poem)

A painting evolves
from a thought,
with a sketch,
into colors.

It takes few hours
over weeks,
pointing its,
direction.

I used to come home
from school and,
rush through the
HW to play.

I did this so that I could
enjoy all evening,
outside playing
with friends.

I did so at the cost of
sloppy handwriting,
+ lying to teacher,
with excuses.

I would say with a face,
that I had a hard time,
doing in candle-light;
so she'd praise me.

Back then, I had it clear,
doing HW can't be fun,
and the fun is later,
with friends.

 Looking back, ever since
throughout studying,
cooking, washing,
fun was later on.

Now, the Grace of presence,
is showing me the rainbows,
inside a bowl/wall,
from crystal.

And the breeze hug under tree,
 mimicking the walking bird,
pretend flying with a sway,
the  "enjoyment" is now.
***
God Help Surrender

oh la la my fast forward mind (poem)

Each one of my thoughts and actions
revolve around my sharing with people
about what I did or I am planning to do
constantly seeking appreciation/company.

I was enjoying dancing in the heavy rain,
and I thought about sharing with a friend,
or knock at a friend's door to dance with;
when my goal is having fun, right here & now.

And, when I am still thinking of joining a pottery class,
my thoughts run into, who I would share the bowls with,
or may be I will become a leading brand selling bowl lady;
when my goal is to simply have fun & play with liquid mud.


***
God help Surrender

Connections just happen (poem)

Moments of connection happen,
they can't be planned or wished.

Then, why am I wasting energy
in chasing  dream interactions?
***
God Help Surrender

Why fear? (poem)

I stepped out for a walk on rainy day, when it was not.
Soon, it started drizzling and I turned back to return.

The dhani-dhani drops touching face, made me smile.
When I started rushing, they directed me to slow.

I looked up to the sky, and felt the falling droplets.
Then, I feared leather slipper & hair, getting bad.

But, when I saw the snail, birds 'n' plants "cool".
I crossed my home and continued to walk.

***
God Help Surrender

Yeh jo mind hai na..., wishes and plans a lot (poem)

When my husband hugs our son before leaving,
my mind is thinking, he is coming over to me next,
but he steps down, saying he may be returning early,
I am sitting in my chair, planning hugging when he comes.
***
God help Surrender 

Yeh jo mind hai na..., bus compliments hi dhondhta rehta hai(poem)

When I am dancing to my favorite folk music,
I think about a childhood friend, I danced with,
Then I see us dancing again at some local festival,
And being complimented for the performance by all.
***
God help Surrender

The healing power of "Kiss" (poem)

My 10 year old son showed me his hurting nail,
which was hit by a ball thrown towards him at school.

When I touched his finger, he "oouched" out loud in pain,
I immediately kissed his finger, he retrieved it as if shocked.

I explained, "love heals like magic", which his big mind denied,
but after an hour he came downstairs to tell me, it no longer hurts.

I looked at him with questioning eyes, "Now you agree, kiss worked?"
He said, "well, it could be....", but to me it was proven, pretty loud and clear.

***
God Help Surrender

An act of honor, erases a feeling of dishonor (poem)

My 15 year old daughter, shared her "good news" of the day,

that she was chosen as a sophomore of the month out of 500.

My heart opened and I honored her with a pat on back and hi-5,

In my next meditation, my buried feeling of dishonor got cleansed.

***
God help Surrender

Invisibily Soothing (poem)

Chirping of birds
Blowing of breeze

Ringing of train-bells
Warming of sun-rays
***
God Help Surrender

God, awaken me during wake up and sleep (poem)

Most mornings, I wake up with tension in my body,
for I had just seen a dream - an awful one,
in which I'm fearful, lost or helpless,
and then relax in the awakening.
***
GOD HELP SURRENDER

"I" keep on circling around these thoughts (poem)

"I" keep on suggesting others,
"I" keep on seeking appreciation,
"I" keep on blaming others for my pain,
"I" keep on justifying my actions to everyone.

***
GOD HELP SURRENDER

God help me be (poem)

Thou are the doer, 

Thou are the one who created all.

Through me Thou act,

Through my thoughts, help me be.

***

God Help Surrender

Discovering my incentive (poem)

Whether I am singing,
or I am playing an instrument.
My thoughts take me to the next moment,
repeatedly sharing it with others, to seek appreciation.
***
God Help Surrender

The language of love and honor... (poem)

...has no rules of grammar,

...has no correct pronunciation,

...has no polite/impolite vocabulary,

...is silence; it communicates via kindness.

***

God help surrender

My mind is constantly busy (poem)

It keeps "focused" on the next conversation with people I will meet.
It "plans" the next step in drying the laundry when the first load is running.
It is always "sharing" the valuable discoveries in kitchen/mind with people I've met.
It feels proud on getting admiration incessantly in these "conversations" or silently around people.
***
GOD HELP SURRENDER

I'm observing my thoughts talking all the time (poem)

There is a subconscious-silent  dialogue going on with people talking to me.
It hooks onto all the pain of women characters in the movies, feels it as mine.
It sings a ll the songs and remembers scenes from the movies I've watched.
It constantly analyses and judges my thoughts / past actions as good and bad.
***
GOD HELP SURRENDER 

I desire and I fear (poem)

I desire to have a "union" of body, mind, heart and soul.
I desire to play bells (naltarang), melodiously.
I desire to have a baby born out of "union".
I desire to be love, and radiate it to all.

I fear that people are judging me, for letting them down.
I fear that like an old lady, I am eating and resting.
I fear that I am collapsing, for lack of nutrition.
I fear that I am on medication, forever.

***
God Help Surrender

The fact is...

Nobody can make me happy or upset.

I can't make anyone happy or upset.

Still I get caught up in my feelings.

And I interpret interactions.

***
God help surrender

Intention Matters...

...while singing a song,
not lyrics.

...while communicating an opinion,
not judgement.

***
God help surrender

God connect me to peace within...

experienced only in glimpses
while sharing my "shameful" stories
while being respectful to underprivileged  kids
offering food to workers on street as "God's child".

when I am with my talking head - mostly alone or with strangers in stores
when I am in the ocean of dear people's  anxiety, expectations, fears, judgement(s).
when I am around people who are busy with gadgets or gossip about TV shows/their world.
when I am feeling fearful that I will get more pain and less sleep if I pick up the ringing phone or interact.
***
Peace