My mind is constantly busy (poem)

It keeps "focused" on the next conversation with people I will meet.
It "plans" the next step in drying the laundry when the first load is running.
It is always "sharing" the valuable discoveries in kitchen/mind with people I've met.
It feels proud on getting admiration incessantly in these "conversations" or silently around people.
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GOD HELP SURRENDER

I'm observing my thoughts talking all the time (poem)

There is a subconscious-silent  dialogue going on with people talking to me.
It hooks onto all the pain of women characters in the movies, feels it as mine.
It sings a ll the songs and remembers scenes from the movies I've watched.
It constantly analyses and judges my thoughts / past actions as good and bad.
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GOD HELP SURRENDER 

I desire and I fear (poem)

I desire to have a "union" of body, mind, heart and soul.
I desire to play bells (naltarang), melodiously.
I desire to have a baby born out of "union".
I desire to be love, and radiate it to all.

I fear that people are judging me, for letting them down.
I fear that like an old lady, I am eating and resting.
I fear that I am collapsing, for lack of nutrition.
I fear that I am on medication, forever.

***
God Help Surrender

The fact is...

Nobody can make me happy or upset.

I can't make anyone happy or upset.

Still I get caught up in my feelings.

And I interpret interactions.

***
God help surrender

Intention Matters...

...while singing a song,
not lyrics.

...while communicating an opinion,
not judgement.

***
God help surrender

God connect me to peace within...

experienced only in glimpses
while sharing my "shameful" stories
while being respectful to underprivileged  kids
offering food to workers on street as "God's child".

when I am with my talking head - mostly alone or with strangers in stores
when I am in the ocean of dear people's  anxiety, expectations, fears, judgement(s).
when I am around people who are busy with gadgets or gossip about TV shows/their world.
when I am feeling fearful that I will get more pain and less sleep if I pick up the ringing phone or interact.
***
Peace

God help surrender... (poem)

attachment to expectations- from people
attachment to fears-about sleep, pain, future
attachment to judging- my desires and others actions
attachment to good/bad- my thoughts and my interactions

attachment to scattering-my jumping thoughts take me off  task
attachment to silent talking- with myself and all persons in my world
attachment to seeking acknowledgement-for anything and everything I do
attachment to resisting- all who are not dressed or communicating, the way I like.

***
Peace