This moment is perfect (poem)

This country, state and location is perfect, for I am with my God.
The present circumstances are perfect, for I am with my God.
These people around me feel perfect, for I am with my God.
Right now, everything is perfect, for I am with my God.
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Love heals me, and judgement stabs me (poem)

When I love,
I am comfortable,
and so is the person,
I am choosing to love.

When I judge,
I am uncomfortable,
and so is the person,
I am choosing to judge.

What is it,
that keeps me from,
choosing kind thoughts,
for my very own comfort?

And, why do I,
helplessly react,
instead of choosing,
to respond with empathy?

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

To be at ease, deflect ease (poem)

I had been feeling pain in my shoulders around some people,
a healer friend suggested to be aware of it and ease it immediately,
I tried different thoughts but nothing worked, but today something clicked,
I seeked ease from God and used myself as His deflector towards those people.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Its time, for me to be present in my present (poem)

At age 38, I began meditating,
and it started cleansing my heart,
then I invited the soul of my Master,
He showed me, that my heart had no space.

One of the stuff, was to acknowledge,
to myself, that at age 16, I loved someone,
and at 42, I met him, to express my past feelings,
but, when I came home, I felt it was not yet complete.

We communicated, in the soul language,
and I realized, that I had to express affection,
then followed beautiful-yet-very-confusing moments,
for I was honoring the divine will, in absolute surrender.

Recently, I saw, that in our past life together,
I had died in his arms, without expressing affection,
that made me joyous, like completing a million piece puzzle,
and this clarity enables me to say bye to past, to focus on present.
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

All I need to do...(poem)

is free my Self from,
my own mind-stuff,
in divine Light,
period.

for I'm most uneasy,
with my very own,
judgements,
ignorantly.


***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

While driving, I was praying (poem)

God, love me.
Krishna, protect me.
Gurus, guide me.
And let "me" dissolve.
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

How can I be with Thee? (poem)

During meditation, I feel joyful and peace, when I am with God.
This morning, I was longing, to be in the same state, always.
So I was pondering, how can I be with God, around people.
"Just as you keep thinking about Me, in meditation."

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Shifting soothes me (poem)

I was lying on the grass,
under a huge tree and it felt perfect.

Soon, as the sun shifted,
the bright penetrating rays, turned hot.

I realized, Sun is perfect,
but, I can shift my mat, towards the shade.

Similarly, people are fine,
when it feels uneasy, I can shift closer to God.
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Yesterday, my son inspired me (poem)

For my sons 8th birthday party,
he declared, one month before,
his concern for best friend,
who can't eat dairy/nuts.

When we served only what,
his dear friend can eat,
we noticed the joy,
in every kids eye.

I could witness kindness,
and wished, if everyone,
could be considerate,
to people around.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Manifest appropriately (poem)

Give love, to those who are in tears, visible or not, of extreme pain.
Be Courageous, around those who are trying to induce fears.
Express compassionate, and give food to those who need.
And for all of these, the source is only one, God.
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Today, I feel complete and done (poem)

Sometimes, I meet people,
I am uneasy till I am done,
whatever, I had to complete,
without any rhyme or reason.

Perhaps, there was something,
I owed from this life or the past,
and I used to ask many questions,
but, now, I completely trust my God.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

The journey from pain to equanimity (poem)

Things beacme clearer today, as I went about the day. During my walk, I revisitied how my pain made me suffer. I helplessly complained about people and situations to people. Till I called out on God (March,7th, 2007) and then something began to shift. My true being peeled across the layers.

Today, I learned, God was all through trying to teach me (via all kinds of pains), only one thing, to be a heart full of gratitude and be in the bliss of equanimity.

The joy, that I experienced, was visible in my smile and walk; got noticed by strangers as well as friends.

And, I heard, " Just go, share God's love."

***

Pain hurts,

Suffering searches,

Being evolves,

Gratitude surfaces.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Explaining clarifies, justifying weakens (poem)

This morning, I woke up with the thought, "God, I surrender my will to Thy will." And, ever since, each moment has been beautiful.

The following poured out, right after the meditation.

***
Being opens, supposed-to-be shuts.

Gratitude uplifts, complain drowns.

Surrendering calms, fears stress.

Yeilding eases, resisting hurts.
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Yahoo, I had forgotten my wish, but Universe had not (poem)

I woke up with pain in right thumb/wrist.
It was very uncomfortable to change gears.
I had to meet a friend for lunch in downtown.
So, I called him, to ask, if he could pick me up.

He sweetly agreed, and we decided to meet at the park.
As, I walked towards the park, I saw him sitting in a new car.
And this car, was different, it was a convertible, with its hood down.
I asked him, "When did you buy this car?" and he replied, "February, 2011".

Its surprising that each time I met him for lunch, we both drove.
So, even though I had met him twice in the last 4 months, I never saw it.
And, sometime ago, I had silently wished, to ride, another friend's similar car.
I immediately thanked God; and enjoyed the ride, with breeze caressing my hair.
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Kindness returned, so must indifference (poem)

It was hot afternoon,
kids wanted to have ice cream,
after buying them what they needed,
I tasted chocolate ice cream & got a scoop.

The lady at the desk smiled,
for 1 scoop was half of baby cup,
I explained I am not hungry, yet hot,
she did not charge me for that and I smiled.

I was enjoying it with my kids,
I saw the same lady, blocked by door,
for she had a huge load, to push through,
I said, "wait", opened her door; she left smiling.

In this morning meditation, it surfaced,
something, I had ignored yesterday afternoon,
and I sensed, just as kindness returned immediately,
so must all impositions, frustration, fears & seperation.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Walking through unknown areas = fresh perspective (poem)

I went out to check my daughter's high school,
before entering back inside car, I heard the chirp,
as if, asking me, "How about taking a walk near us, today?"
the breeze, the Sun, the empty side-walks, seemed very inviting.

I started walking around the unknown corners,
and saw different flowers, in pink, red, yellow colors,
they all seemed perfect, even the catcus, I always despise,
it was whispering, "Everyone is perfect, both you, and your husband."

I decided to walk further to the Safeway to buy mushrooms,
I saw a 5 yr old girl, sitting on a chair, holding her baby sister,
while her elder sister was helping mom, folding clothes in laundromat,
I felt gratitude flow down my spine, for I too could have been, born poor.

Inside Safeway, I straight away picked the mushrooms & apples,
I crossed the bananas, and remembered, we were short at our home,
I thought of letting my husband pick, for he likes to buy them elsewhere,
but, I bought few, for one of us needs to build the bridge, why not, it be me?
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Now, I can have fun for the sake of it (poem)

I used to feel very uncomfortable with judgements.

Yesterday, I realized in evening meditation, that when I experienced judgements of parents/adults/friends as a child, without my awareness, I kept on adding it to my baggage of samskaras. The bag became heavier, as I grew, till I seeked God sincerely, for the first time and experienced love without any conditions (unconditional w/o any judgements).

Now, I can see, that all of us carry this baggage, including my own parents/grandparents/siblings/friends, who do love me, but are trapped under the burden of their own baggages, and helplessly, pass it onto me, without their awareness. And I have been doing the same, with my dear people too, till it hit me and I became aware that its the judgement which is blocking me from loving.

Also, all of us turn out to be an oppressor or a victim, depending on relative weight of the "judgement" stuff in our own baggage and that of the one I am interacting with. And, its poison, will keep on spreading, till we seek/get, unconditional Universal love, through some Masters or God within.

In other words, the person who I feel is judging me, has been judged tremendously (perhaps even more than I've been); for his baggage load is clearly heavier and spilling out in front of me.

So, if the person who is judging me and not loving me (for however, justified the fact may be), and he is expecting love explicitly, in his words of complain. Then, I 've got to be with God, Krishna, Gurus. Then, from genuine empathy, I need to give him God's love, with all kindness and gentle words.

But, if he's standing strong, judging, complaining, implying "I don't need anything from you." Then also I've got to be with God, Krishna, Gurus. And if I can, radiate God's love silently towards him (for, perhaps his baggage is so heavy that he does not even know, that he desperately needs unconditional love).

Anyways, I've just got to thank God (if I an in that moment of frustration), surrender mine and the other person's frustrations, towards God, and seek and deflect silently Gods love, towards him. And, there is nothing more I can do.

For that person has got to take care of his baggage, sooner or later.

In nutshell, these three steps, (if I can follow, in that volcanic moment) greatly heal me:

1. Being with God-Krishna-Guru (keeps me from helplessly judging myself and others).

2. Thank You God, please take this interaction (keeps me from increasing my baggage).

3. God bless me and "X", Your child (fills my body with soothing unconditional love).

Therefore, I pray, may God bless, all beings everywhere with unconditional love.

Today, I deeply express my gratitude to all the Masters, who have cleansed my samskaras to reveal this to me.

For, now, I am no longer a victim, instead, I am unconditional love, in each breath that I am with my God, Krishna, Guru.

***



I was not good at Sports, as a child,
my friends would say, "I don't want you in my team",
and I stopped playing any sports, to keep me from this pain,
focused only on the academics, music and dance, where I excelled.

Yesterday, I was playing at mini golf with my family,
my husband said, "It takes you forever to shoot it into hole.....",
but, I continued hitting, for I was having fun with my son, on his b'day,
and I could feel my God loving me same, whether, I shot into the hole, in 1 or 10 hits.

Thank You God, Krishna and Gurus
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

TYG for Thy signals (poem)

TYG implies Thank YOu God

***

I was taking a walk, while thinking of God,
then I thought about my work, and felt proud,
just then, needle-like pain went down right heel,
immediately, I apologized, for my ego had shoved God.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Now, my God is leading me (poem)

I went to pick up my skirt from alteration shop (where, I have been 10 times before), and for the first time, I noticed, that they had these beautiful cotton, tailor made shirts for women. And I was just thinking of searching and buying the same thing at Macy's.

Amazing, how things surface right in front of my eye, just when I am looking for them. Thank You God, Krishna, Gurus. :))

***
Whatever I need,
my God,
is leading me,
to it.
***

Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Only love creates bonds, nothing else (poem)

Out of all the people I have ever interacted with, so far, only the ones with whom I experienced love, I really miss. For the simple reason that their love remains in my heart and it gives me each time, what I really need in that moment. This means, only love bonds, neither the duration of interaction, nor the proximity.

So, God, bless Your child Gunjan, so that she can tresspass, her own desires, mind-stuff, ego or whatever blocks her, from giving Thy unconditional love to all.

***

Grandpa died, but his love lives.

Lover changed, but his love heals.

Friends leave, but their love soothes.

Interactions vary, but only, love binds.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Equanimity, is the key to inner joy (poem)

The birds were chirping on the trees,
the kids were screaming inside the pool,
I wanted to hear the birds and kids to shut,
but, I smilingly said, "Thank You God for all."
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

For my son, on his 8th Birthday

My dear Gaurav,

As you turn 8, on June 12th, 2011, I would like you to know at least 8 things I really love about you.

1. The way you love ice hockey, and how you played with pencils and eraser in pretend games. How you fell on my feet, to buy the ice hockey stick for you, before the long weekend. For the loving looks and caresses, that you showered on the ice hockey stick, when it finally arrived.

2. The way you cook your omelet, with precisely cut thin long onions fried till almost brown, little green onions, a dash of red chilli powder, salt pepper added to well beaten egg, and 2 tiny shreds out of a green chilly, topped with a slice of cheese.

3. The way you play goalie games and cricket with me with new rules each day, and how you keep on winning against me, by diving on the ground to save each goal I try to hit against you.

4. The way you draw your rainbows, the smiling Sun, sketch in black and white the shooting war between sailing ships and flying airplanes in 3-D.

5. The way you keep asking about what will your friend with allergies eat (at your upcoming birthday party).

6. The way you neatly did the flip, when dancing with your classmates to "Dynamite".

7. The way you demand me to change you into night dress, and your belly hug.

8. The way you explore surroundings and ask me questions.

I pray to God, to bless His child, Gaurav, with Light.


With aise, aise, aise,


Mama

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Beware men, who don't respect women (poem)

There are some men, who never understand his women's love,
However they see women, only as an object to fulfill their needs,
Those who do that, should be aware, that she can transform the same energy,
into anything she wishes to, with divine support, for God supports those who seek.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Its high time I seek everything from within for...(poem)

If I search for love from people,
then I will also get depressed by the judgement of people.

If I search for support from people,
then I will also feel discouraged by the indifference of people.

If I search for security from people,
then I will also keep on trembling by the fears induced by the people.

As long as I am seeking from the people,
I will continue to feel uprooted by its very opposite emotion from people.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)

Love happens, but hatred is created (poem)

Love happens, it can't be forced.
But complain is mind created, it can be dropped.
So, notice mind-stuff blocking, what was once flowing.
And, using the strong will, just shove away all thats unloving.
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Love and thats the only Truth)

Mind Vs Wisdom (poem)

I surrender my mind,
for its a devil,
that creates,
friction.

I seek Thy wisdom,
for thats Light,
that creates,
bonds.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Love and that is th only Truth)

It feels different now (poem)

So far,
I desired
and therefore
I complained.

Now,
I am thankful
and therefore
I am creating.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Love and that is the only Truth)

In Love...(poem)

there is Trust,
there is Surrender,
there is Understanding,
therefore, I love my Krishna.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Love, and that is the only Truth)

Perhaps, this is unconditional love

While driving back from Amma, for the first time, I embraced US, my father with his not-so-cuddling love, my mother for not letting me report or speak aloud my molestation experiences, my husband with his own fears of money, my first love with all his desires, my latest affection with his own fears of desires, my daughter with her aggressiveness, my son with his stubbornness, my brother with his not-taking-stand-for me and the list went on; till I embraced myself with all my bitterness and judgement towards these wonderful people in my life.

Today, I embrace, myself as being imposive, expecting from others, having, " I am right, and you are not" attitude, and that in my marriage, there is no love between us. But, with the faith in God, I got my married to my husband, with deeper faith, I embrace my marriage, that my God is all that He is doing, for that needs to happen for the good of the Universe, even if it is painful to me.


In that moment I realized, that I was seeking Amma to bless me with unconditional love, and that is nothing else, me loving all people in my without any conditions or expectations. So, its more like getting present and releasing all that my mind-stuff creates, embracing each person I interact with gratitude towards, my dearest God. Also, I witnessed that its all my creation, the lack of love, my mind-stuff helplessly reacting to people (my God's blessing's) in my life.

To create peace in this world, I need to acknowledge myself, honor who I am and deflect it all towards my God, and repeat the same for each one of these angels in my life. And I also know that I am not this body or mind stuff, but these two are the biggest generators of chaos and restlessness in my life.

People, I interact with, bring to the surface, what has been sitting deposited within me from this life and past lives, and when I feel upset with them, they are mirroring, my stuff. Its funny, now, that I am full of gratitude, for them, for however, painful, its been, they have simply been doing, what my God wishes them to do unto me; perhaps they are not even aware about it. Just as I was not, till now.

But, now that I am, with my Krishna's love (the lord of the Universe), inside my heart, I simply need to leave my helplessness and accept all that comes with "Thank You God"; from a place of inner joy.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Love, and that is the only Truth)

Have you ever seen gratitude, for I just saw it.

I went to meet Amma. There was this young bearded man in early 20's, totally bed ridden, with tubes and loud machines working on his body. The noisy machine caught my attention, I noticed (through the gap between his mother and the nurse), his entire body was draped in layers of sheets, his eyes were closed; and he was smiling. The most beautiful smile, I have ever seen. I closed my eyes, wondering what's that and I heard, "gratitude".

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Love, and that is the only Truth)

.

This is the million dollar question I asked myself...(poem)

Today, I went for my Mamogram after nearly two years,
Man, it does hurt really bad; but, I did not blame the techinican,
for, my mind knew that, she's just doing her job, and its for my good.
Then, why do I blame people, who induce pain, and push me closer to my God?

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Love, and that is the only Truth)