How do I deal with angry people?

I am sharing the answers to some of the questions I meditated upon. To me, these are difficult questions and I could only find answers during deep meditation. I believe they are true but difficult-to-follow-solutions.

What do I do when someone is angry at me just because he is short tempered?

This was one of the most trying situations, when someone around me would get angry at me (repeatedly) just because he is short tempered. All these years, in each situation, I used to reflect that anger back towards him by talking in the same tone. However, when I meditated upon this question, I heard a very convincing and peaceful solution to this turbulence creating situation.

I saw that I have a shadow each time I am standing in a well-lit room or in bright sunlight. In addition, the length of the shadow varied depending on the angle my body was making with the source of light.

Extrapolating it to something going on inside my mind, I saw that my true-Higher-Self was like my “body” and my high-thinking-Ego-self was like its “shadow”.

When someone is getting angry at me, I think he is actually behaving like a 4 year old child (who is) throwing a tantrum at a toy store. In fact to show his anger against me (his mother), the child starts running over and stomping on my “shadow”. But, I (as an adult), know that if someone is running over my shadow it is not hurting my “body” at all and can't help smiling.

Similarly, when someone is losing his temper at me, he is simply trying to hurt my high-thinking-Ego-self. During that process, my true-Higher-Self is actually separate and unhurt. My true-Higher-Self can never get hurt, just as the “body” does not get hurt when someone walks over its “shadow”.

Further, when he is getting angry at me, it is his high-thinking-Ego-self which is out of control, and not his true-Higher-Self. This explanation extinguished my anger against that person and instead, I was filled with pity for his lack of control over his high-thinking-Ego-self.

Just as the length of the “shadow” can be minimized by aligning one’s “body” under the source of light, similarly, I can minimize the role of my “high-thinking-Ego-self” by aligning myself constantly under His light. To the point it vanishes and only my “true-Higher-Self” manifests.

This clear vision really eased me out during the session, as I saw no obvious reason to get agitated by any body’s bad temper. However, I am still struggling to connect to my true-Higher-Self in that “agitating” moment when it happens. I pray that I get there sooner each next time.


Oct. 20, 2007