I am not sense organs or mind, I am just Your mirror (poem)

Towards those who ignite my desires,
towards those who make me fearful,
& towards those who respect me,
use me to deflect Thy Light.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

Hmm, he does make me feel helpless with his fears (poem)

I am standing there in confusion,
asking him what to do with this credit card,
that the bank has sent me, in my name, for me to use,
he tells me, "you won't need any, and it will mess up our home loan".

I throw the card away in the "to be crushed documents"
and this very same scene keeps on happening, almost every month,
till I meet a lady at a networking place discussing financial aid for business,
and when I tell her tearfully, why I don't have a credit card, she excalims, "You've been misguided!!"

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

Wow, he does make me desire with this "kind of a" kiss (poem)

He is sitting on a couch,
I am sitting on top of his laps,
with my legs stretched across over his,
and my arms are holding him close, by his neck.

I am kissing him and he is kissing me,
we keep doing this without taking any break,
and then we stop together in complete contentment,
looking into each others smiling eyes, only to resume again.
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

Honestly Speaking...(poem)

My soul,
is one with his,
and my heart,
really loves him.

My body,
seeks his caresses,
and my mind,
keeps judging his intent.

My soft voice,
whispers from within,
and I hear,
"Do what's appropriate, joyfully".

My heart,
sings a romantic song,
and I dance,
back into, "Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna."

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

He makes my heart sing (poem)

He caresses my hair with fingers,
He rubs my cheeks and ears with palms,
He massages my knee and shin with hands,
And I just pray, God bless him with Light.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

Mirror, mirror, teach me how to deflect? (poem)

I used get love from mama,
share it as smiles in college,
come back with experiences,
& vent it out onto my mother.

Now, I get love from God,
share it out as His blessings,
& deflect all the interactions,
towards my dearest Krishna.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

Now, I am complete....(poem)

with all Thy love, that makes me at ease,
with all Thy wisdom, that makes me seek within,
with all Thy Light, that makes me trust guidance,
with all Thy protection, that makes me feel secure.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

I've got to give it all to God, both good and bad (poem)

When he is affectionate,
I got lost in happiness,
but, when he is unkind,
I complain and seek God.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

I have every reason to smile when....(poem)

Trees are dancing.

Birds are singing.

Breeze is kissing.

Earth is loving.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

Now, I am choosing joy over happiness (poem)

In divine Light, I can see, what is appropriate and what's not.
In darkness, I am desiring, and, helplessly follow my deepest desires.

In divine Light, I am joyful, thanking God incessantly and singing.
In darkness, I am happy, yet, helplessly complain about my frustrations.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

Climb every mountain, search high and low.,..(poem)

In this morning meditation, I saw my furstrations in my relationship, and surrendered them to God.

Then, in divine Light I saw how I moved from a well paying Industry job, to prestigious-yet-lesser-paying teaching at the University and then after a gap of 7 years to a fulfilling-and-beginning-to-get-paid observing Physics with kids.

I heard, "Gunjan, you have done it once, for work; you can do the same for your relationship. Don't give up. Follow all your dreams, for you are the creator of your life."

And, I told myself, "Yes, I wish to create a relationship, where there is respect, love, trust, understanding, deep connection, giving, supporting and the sensitivity to feel each other's pain; and I am going to create it in my life, come what may. nd it is important for me and my children to see how to create and live a relationship full of love instead of constant fear and judgements"

God, Krishna, Gurus show me in Thy Light, how to do it; for I can do anything only with Thy support. Come to me Jesus, fill me with Thy Light.

***
I felt frustrated working in the industry,
I felt creative teaching at the University,
I felt fulfilled observing Physics with kids,
I am so thankful to God, for leading me to it.

I am so glad, that I explored what gave me joy,
I am so glad, that I followed the soft voice in me,
I am so glad, that I meditated to walk through my fears,
I am so thankful to God, for guiding me to create my life.

***

Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

When oneness permeates (poem)

At sunset,
on the sea beach,
my arms are around his neck,
and his palms are holding onto my waist.

My bare feet are on top of his bare feet,
the cold water is blessing our standing close,
the calm Sun is nurturing our resonating desires,
and both of us are able to hear the other's heartbeat.

I am kissing him, then he is kissing me and we keep taking turns,
our clothed bodies are squeezing against each others, bringing us closer,
my right leg begins lifting up off his feet and finally rests on his left knee,
and his left palm glides gently downward from my waist to skin on my buttocks.

In that state of complete surrender we lay on top of the soothing sand,
we press onto each other's bare skin revealed through the caressing of our hands,
then we roll over each other laughing, scattering the sand deeper in every successive turn,
and then we finally pause into that complete stillness, when the oneness permeated into our union.
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

Today, I am writing from a place of love, which overcame my fear (poem)

I have been so scared of my husband's anger,
that I don't say anything, if I knew he won't like it,
for it would get him angry, and that in turn would spoil peace at home,
and this has been happening ever since we met and then got married, for last 17 years.

When I was young, whenever my father got angry,
I used to rush to the restroom, waiting for him to calm,
while he is giving vent, to his unpleasantness at my siblings and mother,
and I noticed that I have been the same 5 year old, even though I am a 42 year mother of two.

But, yesterday morning, I just needed to clean up,
I wished to remove the dead PC off the study table to create space,
When I asked my husband for help, he simply refused to move it away for me,
I had a choice to let it be, for the peace in family, or do the much needed reorganization on study table.

I asked my 7 year old to help me move the heavy PC,
together, and we slowly shifted it off to the floor from the table,
and I encountered the fearful moment again, when my husband would see it,
but, yesterday, instead of rushing off to the restroom, I radiated towards him God's love and he did not get angry about it.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

Loving everyone where they are (poem)

I knew loving is the most beautiful thing to do,
but, somewhere, I wished people to become better,
today, I have realized, that its not the person,
its the real love in the loving that makes it beautiful.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

What is divine? (poem)

Loving is divine,
when loving is in divine presence.

Cooking is divine,
when cooking is in divine thoughts.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)

I need to sing...(poem)

for when I sing,
then I am honest to myself,
my body dances to its tune,
my heart opens to everyone.


and I sing,
when I am experiencing love,
either from the loving people,
or my soul is feeling nurtured.

***
Aum Tat Sat (God is Truth)