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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

My Fairy Tale (poem)

My Fairy Tale (poem)

I was a free particle.


Then I happily married,

but my mobility got linked.


After that,

I enjoyed having a daughter,

but my responsibilities increased.


Soon after,

I was blessed with a son,

but as the stress increased,

my health deteriorated and frustrations escalated.


Much later,

I was bed confined,

as if I were put on a timeout,

but it was only then I realized that,

all through, I suffered for I did not ask eagerly-waiting-God-within for help.


Since then,

I am a new person,

feeling lighter each day,

unfolding my loving self once again,

experiencing a new Light guiding me through all,

and now, whatever happens, I know I can be peace anywhere-anytime, for it sits unperturbed within.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Monday, December 29, 2008

Till it Happens (poem)

Darkness stays,

till,

Light illuminates.



Perturbation rules,

till,

Peace spreads.



Noise disturbs,

till,

Silence captivates.



Desires long,

till,

Fulfillment happens.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Friday, December 26, 2008

Eight is not equal to Infinity (poem)

When,

I love someone,

I expect him,

to reciprocate.


Also,

deep within I wish,

that he will like,

the way I love him.


But,

I keep getting frustrated,

for what I am sharing,

is Divine love.


And,

to whom I am giving,

is finite,

disconnected from Source.


So,

I better seek and share it,

only with Infinite,

or with finite connected to God.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The Attachment Fossil (poem)

I was wet cement,

where impressions sedimented.


I am wet sand,

where imprints do remain.


I long to dry up,

so that footprints get erased.


I wish to fly in air,

so that nothing gets formed.


***


Aum Tat Sat

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Embracing America

Of late, I had been observing that whenever I would talk to someone over the phone, or see some suggestive scenes/posters, my belly would start burning. I wondered what was it and when it started happening more frequently, I addressed it during meditation.

To my surprise, what surfaced was a series of dark images from my past (while growing up in India). It felt, as if they were all linked to a common and precise energy level and were waiting to be anchored and pulled out of my system.

REVISITING THE PAST

I cried and cried endlessly as each image emerged and forced itself out during meditation. The images were scattered and hopped from the ruthless pinching in sensitive parts by an invisible hand in an over crowded bus, to many more intense ones.


***

The first intense image, that appeared was, when I was 13 and visiting my cousin sister (without my parents). I was flipping through the family pictures with her, her husband and daughter. Gradually everyone left, but I continued flipping through the album with her husband in their room. Suddenly, I found his face real close to my bent face and I heard him asking me strangely for a kiss. Just then (by God's grace), his one year old daughter walked in and he immediately retrieved his face. After that, he acted as if nothing had happened.

But, the fear and confusion I had experienced in that moment, started echoing once again.

***

The next painful scene that scared me to roots then and even now was when I was 14. I was walking back from school with some friends, via a shortcut. It was raining and a fully covered face guy in a rain jacket, grabbed me, pinched me hard on my privates, spoke a few harsh words and biked away.

The pain of that pinch, still hurt me with a stream of endless tears.

***

The unfolding of images continued, and got more intense. This one happened when I was 16.

Me and my elder sister were on a summer break at a resort, with my father's cousin sisters and their families. So it was the two of us with one aunt in one room and the other aunt, her husband along with kids in another. Once I was alone in my room, the aunt's husband came, pinched my buttock, winked and walked away. I was shocked by his actions and uneasy with the strange way he looked at me throughout the day.

The next day when he found me alone, he asked for a kiss on his lips by bending forward and closer. I ran down to my sister, told her what had happened and nervously stuck to her till the end of the trip.

After few days, the same uncle with his family visited our home and his looks kept me feeling uneasy. I was preparing for exams and everyone except me went to a neighbor's home to see their colored TV. On hearing the door bell after ten minutes, with books in my hand I opened the door for this uncle. Suddenly, he asked me to kiss him again in the same strange way and this time I was shivering. I immediately ran to my mother, sitting in the neighbor's house and told her about it, in her ears. She told me to keep quiet about it, not to tell my dad about it, for he will stop this uncle from visiting. I was scared, confused and stayed back there at our neighbor's home, holding on to my mother's hand. Once my uncle came back to our neighbor's home, I came home with my mother to calm myself down.

The shivering of my whole body resent those shivers down my body, as his dark face emerged.

***

The last one emerged after a few days and it was of a senior prof. hugging me repeatedly, whenever we were alone, when I was 24.

There was a shortage of computers in our group room and therefore a long wait to run each program. So he suggested that I use PC, in his room, whenever he was out, to prevent delays in my work. Sometimes, he would be back and I would still be working on the test problem. Often, he would come in, shut the door and hug me tight so that my entire upper body would squeeze.

As the energy of that forced hug resurfaced, I broke down.

BACK TO PRESENT

Revisiting now, to me it was like a tearful cleansing of those sedimented impressions in the new Light, which I now, experience during meditation.

Now, I wish, that back then, I had the awareness to know what all that really meant. Now, I wish I had the courage to bring up, whatever was bothering me in the presence of their wives.

Now, I forgive each one of those anonymous and known molesters in my life and pray that they get connected to their Source and not repeat it ever again with any other girl.

Now, I am glad I revisited my past and healed a wound, decaying for over decades.

ON SECOND THOUGHTS

After two days, another thought about past unfolded, as a first thought on waking up.

It was my extreme-and-constant uneasiness, when I would step out of home, on sensing that as I walk, there are vicious looks from street-side romeos scanning my entire body and following me everywhere.

When this thought and the corresponding feeling surfaced, it struck me like a hammer and I realized that of all the uneasy moments, constant unspoken ogling by lechers (surrounding me in Delhi) was something that bothered me, THE MOST.

After the morning meditation ended, I heard a clear voice admitting that, "Perhaps, US is indeed a safer place to raise my daughter.”

That morning, after over 11 years, I embraced America (with a smile) for the first time, as my new home.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Series versus Parallel Circuit (poem)

He process one thought at a time,

and,

she has many running in parallel.



He chooses to communicate via email,

and,

she prefers to talk sitting face to face.



He keeps his sorrows locked to himself,

and,

she shares her joy or tears with friends.



He analyzes how the baby got into trauma,

and,

she tires to comfort the baby suffering pain.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Morning Kiss (poem)

Just as,

frosted grass melts in Sun,

my darkness melts in the Light within.


Just as,

freezing grass patches long,

my heaviness longs to feel Lighter.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Friday, December 19, 2008

Nothing is Discrete (poem)

From violet to red in rainbow,

the colors,

blend softly.


From low to high in radio,

the volume,

is controlled smoothly.


From cold to hot in cooking,

the temperature,

is increased continuously.


From good to bad in judging,

a perspective,

is evolved relatively.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Catch my Ball (poem)

I throw the ball to my friends,

one of them catches it easily,

another just misses the catch,

and the third one complains.


I share experiences with all,

few are able to understand,

others simply do not get it,

while some just get furious.

***
Aum Tat Sat

I Am God (poem)

I Am bright Sunlight,

no paper can block me.



I Am Niagara falls,

no boat can stop me.


I Am fertile Soil,

no spit can dirty me.


I Am omnipotent God,

no intentions can harm me.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Replacing Ingredients (prayer)

Dear Krishna,

Scrape off Darkness,
and substitute Light.

Broom away Anger,
and sprinkle Prayers.

Uproot every Desire,
and fill Contentment.

Erase each Expectation,
and overwrite Surrender.

With Gratitude,
Gunjan

***
Aum Tat Sat

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Blessing in Disguise (poem)

Pain,

like blood,

is Universal.


Pain,

unlike wealth,

Connects hearts.


Pain,

like teacher,

aids Learning.


Pain,

unlike health,

leads to Surrender.


***
Aum Tat Sat

Why Desire? (poem)

Desires when fulfilled, lead to more desires.

Desires when unfulfilled, lead to frustration.

Either way it distracts me away from peace.

So if my goal is calmness then why desire?

***
Aum Tat Sat

There is Always a Choice (poem)

In silence I could hear,

refrigerator's humming,

the wall clock's ticking,

and, the birds chirping.


In silence I had a choice to

complain about humming,

ignore the endless ticking,

or enjoy the sweet chirping.


***
Aum Tat Sat

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Love is in the Air (poem)

When I shut my eyes,

I feel,

Krishna's warm gaze.


When I watch grazing cows,

I sense,

Krishna's presence in vicinity.


When I see mountain ranges,

I hear,

Krishna's calling open arms.


When I observe the glowing Sun,

I find,

Krishna's Discus radiating security.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Friday, December 12, 2008

Twig Floating Down the Stream (poem)

In the mid afternoon meditation, I found myself contemplating about my wish to visit an Ashram in India, longing to meet dear ones in India and frustrations with my sick body in US.

In that moment, I heard, “Float like a twig in the stream. Enjoy the journey in the stream of Lord Krishna. Each moment as it is now, is what Krishna has chosen for me. If I really love Krishna, then I will love all that He is arranging for me each moment, including the sickness. There is no need to wish or to ask, for He knows all my needs and is doing the needful. Just Trust Destiny and its Creator, Krishna.”

Then, I visualized myself becoming a twig, which has surrendered to the fresh, clear down stream of Krishna. In my beautiful journey, I am crossing pebbles, rocks and saying bye to the stationary trees. I am joyous, for I am with Krishna. Nothing else mattered in that moment.

I came out of the mediation feeling content, with no more wishing to wish anything.

***

I aspire to,

splash in water, like a naughty child,

bounce off rocks, like an expert gymnast,

trust the direction of stream, like a new baby,

and flow with the contentment, like being with God.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Freeze The Moment (poem)

Dear Krishna,

Come out of those shadows,

Play your melodious flute,

Open your closed eyelids,

And then freeze the moment.

***
Aum Tat Sat

My First Love Letter (poem)

My Dear Krishna,


I am crying,

to feel your presence.


I am longing,

to get your embrace.


I am craving,

to look into your eyes.


I am living,

to live in your arms.


Seeking your sacred love,

Gunjan

***

Aum Tat Sat

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Mutual Inductance (poem)

In Physics, Inductance is the property of an electrical circuit, where a change in the current flowing through a circuit induces a force (called, EMF) which opposes the change, which is causing it.

When a coil of current induces such an opposition to the current flow in a near by coil, it is called mutual-inductance. An everyday electrical application of this concept is transformer.

However, in everyday life, I observe that someone else's energy starts influencing my own energy. And I land up behaving, just like the other person; as if I have no control over myself. My behavior becomes like, what I dislike in the other person.

To paraphrase, I need to watch out when I start complaining, for that is the point when I can switch off the vicious tornado of my reaction.

And the moral is, Let Them Be.

***

When he loses his temper, I complain.

And when I begin complaining, I automatically start brooding.

Once inside that vicious-brooding spiral, I get swamped by self pity.

And once self-pity plunges on me, I helplessly start losing my own temper.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Self Inductance (poem)

In Physics, Inductance is the property of an electrical circuit, where a change in the current flowing through that circuit induces a force (called, EMF) which in turn, opposes the change which is causing it (that is change in current).

When a coil of current in induces such an opposition to its own current flow, it is called self-inductance.

When I was contemplating about this poem, it became clear how my resistance aides the thoughts, I wish to resist.

To paraphrase, it is a sheer waste of energy trying to resist any thought.

And the moral is, Let All Thoughts Be.

***

When I resist a thought, I push.

And each time I push, I use my force.

But when I force, I consume my energy.

Since energy transfers, it strengthens what I resist.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Questioning Nature (poem)

Today, I had sore throat and therefore could not talk at all. I was experiencing a forced shut up, but somewhere I was complaining, until I saw these in nature. Now, I now, it is God's will for me to not talk for some time and accept it gracefully.

***

Leaves fall quietly,

but,

Why can't I work silently?


Sun shines alone,

but,

Why can't I enjoy solitude?


Rainbow smiles at everyone,

but,

Why can't I be nice to everybody?


Bud blossoms in Spring,

but,

Why can't I wait till its time?

***
Aum Tat Sat

Heart Versus Mind (poem)

Reflection and shadow,

both,

need light.


Reflection is bright details,

whereas,

shadow is a dark outline.


Reflection shows the shadow,

but,

shadow can not show reflection.


Conspicuous in the inherent light,

heart reflects,

mind shadows.
***

Aum Tat Sat

Monday, December 8, 2008

Nature's Laws (poem)

The circumstances can ruin plans,

but,

seeking with Universe re-arranges.



The emotions can dispel peace,

but,

getting Detached revives clarity.



The frustrations can stir reactions,

but,

becoming an Observer is calming.

***

Aum Tat Sat

The Completeness (poem)

I am hugging you,

with my chin,

tucked on your shoulder blade.



You are squeezing me,

with your chin,

rubbing against my cheek.



I am screaming,

with pouring tears,

making your shirt all wet.



You are caressing,

with extreme tenderness,

my hair and my upper back.


***

Aum Tat Sat

Algorithm for Seeking Forever (poem)

Step 1: With constant filtering, I think.



Step 2: With a higher awareness, I long.



Step 3: With a deep craving, I seek.



Step 4: With this clarity, I iterate.

***

Aum Tat Sat

On Approaching a Blind Corner (poem)

For this divine-eternal journey,



the car's Steering is,

Firm Faith,



the Headlight is,

Inherent Light,



the Accelerator is,

Follow the Clarity.



and the Brake is,

Stop Complaining,


***

Aum Tat Sat

All Circumstances are Perfect (poem)

When I see a chance to grow,
When I hear the subtle signal,
When I allow Spirit to shine,
Then everything seems perfect.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Love is God (poem)

Love is lovely, no matter
at what age it happens,
where it happens, and
for who ever it happens.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Reborn (poem)

All through my life, I thought form mind, spoke through mouth, heard from ears and touched with hands. But ever since, I have found this new connection, in this re-birth, this is what I have become.

***
Thinking from the heart,

Speaking from the eyes,

Hearing the subtle sound,

And touching with hugs.

***

Aum Tat Sat

Longing Led to Calmness (poem)

This morning, I was missing Amma tearfully, and just then I remembered her words, “love, but without any attachment.” Within seconds, I was filled with a warm contentment.

***
Longing with loud tears.

Remembered Her words, "Love without attachment".

Smiled in the Calmness.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Let Everything Be (poem)

Let people be.

Let circumstances be.

Let thoughts be.

Let spirit be.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Before Resisting, Allow (poem)

Before resisting, allow.

Before judging, stop.

Before acting, be honest.

Before reacting, reflect.


***

Aum Tat Sat

Saturday, December 6, 2008

I am Grandpa, I am Mother (chant)

This chant is a nth sequel to the chant “I am Love, I am Joy”.

These lines came up during my solitary walk this morning, when I realized that sometimes , the God within cheers me up like my grandfather, and sometimes embraces me like my comforting mother. Then other times God listens to me like my best friend and then some times God hugs me like a true lover.

Singing this chant (like its predecessors) anywhere or anytime, helps me in focusing scattered thoughts.

***

I am Grandpa, I am Mother,
I am Friend, I am Lover,
I am Yours, I am You,
I Am I Am.

***

Aum Tat Sat

Friday, December 5, 2008

The 90 second Rule (poem)

When I blame him,

for hurting my feelings,

and retrieve within.


Then, I calm down,

on realizing that,

the, I within, is fine.

***

Aum Tat Sat

I is Observing Myself (poem)

When someone's words stab me,

and tears are ready to pour out,

then, I call God, for Guidance,

and watch, myself easing out.


When a longing takes over me,

and howling begins with tears,

then, I call God, for Love,

and sense, myself getting hugged.

***
Aum Tat Sat

Choosing Fulfillment (poem)

O God, keep me,
off the ladder of worldly desires,
for each step, leads to, higher anxiousness.

O God, keep me,
on the treadmill of seeking within,
for each step, leads to, a deeper fulfillment.

***
Aum Tat Sat