Surrender, Listen and Give

Surrender, Listen and Give Contact at Contact@FollowThyHeart.Org

Blog Archive

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Is the INNER VOICE always the same?

I experience different types of inner voices during each meditation session. Is it the same source talking to me in different tones or different voices talking to me in their inherent tones?

Recently, I noticed that sometimes the meditation is strong and clear, whereas other times it calm and some other times it is all scattered. During these wide variety of sessions, I hear (and sense) a wide variety of voices (and impulses).

***

During my walk, I felt that these conversations are similar to lunch time conversation between me and my 9 year old daughter.

Usually, when I serve her spinach, vegetables, lentil, yogurt and rice; which is yummy for her and healthy for me; both of us are content and happy. We enjoy our meal together.

The problem comes, when her eyes fall on a new granola bar packed in a pretty packet sitting on one of the shelves. On detecting that she immediately starts begging with lots of please(s) and smiles, seeking my permission to eat that instead of her everyday healthy meal. As a mother, I know she will not get the same nourishment, yet I reluctantly yield; for I wish her to be happy and realize it herself.

I pick up that never-ever-tasted before granola bar, read through the ingredients written in fine prints and warn her further that it has some ingredients which she might not like. But, since she has already made up her mind (by yielding to external sense); she snatches it out of my hand and she seeks my verbal approval one last time. I smile at her, utter out that forcibly extracted “Yes” and let her eat.

She opens it with great enthusiasm, rolling her eyes and singing. The moment, she takes the first bite her facial expressions change drastically. She screams, “This tastes yucky.” She throws away the packet, runs down to the basin to spit everything out of her mouth and comes back to eat healthy-yummy home cooked food.

***

Along the same lines, there are times when the voice and the vision experienced during meditation are strong-loud and clear. I experience a force from within, encouraging me to say/do certain things. Once, out of meditation, I follow it through and experience joy. This is like the healthy food served by the mother (me) to her daughter, when both feel happy during and after completing the meal.

But there are some other days, when the meditation is OK. No great visuals or audible experiences. Those days, when I am seeking an answer or permission to do something; I hear a weak-reluctant-yielding-kind-of-yes from within. Once, out of mediation, I follow it through and this time I experience frustration. This is like the bitter taste after following the temptation to try that brand-new-great-looking-but-yucky-tasting granola bar.

After experiencing the frustration, I realize the mistake and pledge never to commit it again. I promise myself to remember the discrete difference between experiencing a force from the divinity within and forcibly seeking permission from divinity. For, the divinity residing within me is indeed like that well-wishing mother.

To me it feels the same voice talking to me in different tones; like the mother telling or yielding to her daughter. However, the impulses I wish to tune into a given moment could be higher or lower; like the daughter enjoying healthy food or getting distracted by tempting-looking-junk food. Each time I am tuned into a higher impulse, He supports me by forcing me in that direction. On the other hand, when I tune into a lower impulse, He reluctantly gives a green signal. Now, I know that He does so, for He knows what is good/bad for me and He is my truest well-wisher.

***

Therefore, I pray that my awareness and sensitivity about knowing the difference in the tones, namely, go-for-it-I-am-with-you or Ok-if-you-insist-go-ahead; between the two extreme tones of the inner-voice enhances. This is assuming that I cannot distinguish between a lower and a higher impulse, for I am naive and weak; quiet capable of making wrong choices.

Also, I pray that in complete trust and surrender, I choose to yield to His choices (for me) instead of making Him yield (to my choice).

No comments: