I keep reminding myself not to attach to people, but still I land up getting attached to people. How do I overcome attachment?
This morning I made myself a sandwich in an old-style aluminum sandwich toaster on the stove. When it was done, I opened it. I found out that one slice was stuck to the side of the toaster. I forced it out with a knife but still some bread remained on the toaster. While struggling to scrape off that piece of bread, I realized that even though I had used the non-stick spray; it was not enough and definitely not well-spread.
In that moment it struck me that even though I understand that dear people around me are God’s and not mine. Further, God has placed them around me as for a bigger purpose. Still I often find myself difficult to detach with the thoughts of attachment towards them. Perhaps, it is so because I am forgetting to remember God and the truth about attachment as often as it is needed.
The lesson is that the next time, a thought of attachment surfaces up, I need to consciously remind myself, “Nobody is mine and therefore I need to let go.”; before that thought spreads out like secondary waves spread out on throwing a rock in a pond. So, I need to stop myself from creating those waves. I need to remember the truth as soon as I lift a stone to throw it into a pond, else the thoughts would form and propagate.
Therefore, just like I needed to use the nonstick spray effectively to keep the bread from sticking, similarly I need to remember God and the above mentioned truth at the very first thought of attachment. I know it needs a lot of awareness, but it is worth it.
Now onwards, I need to start spreading the spray and remembering the relevant truth; before it is too late.
Surrender, Listen and Give Contact at Contact@FollowThyHeart.Org
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4 comments:
First things first. I liked many things on your Blog. Your poem "Amma - Amma"and the poem congratulating the parents of a new-born - really superb.
However, perhaps because of my ignorance in the matters relating to spirituality, I just fail to understand that why do people like you always want to detach themselves from the people around you. What is this urge to detach yourself from people around you? Why can't you love them and feel closer to God?
I know I am not able to appreciate the nuances of your feelings and therefore this confusion. I also know that as an admirer of "Amma" you must love people around you and this detachment must be at a different level. However, I would like you explain these nuances in a separate post as to what is this concept of detachment while you still want to love people who have been created by God?
Perhaps I am asking a difficult question but let us try to find answer to this.
If I have failed in making my point above, then please forgive me for all this blabbering.
Anyway, congratulations on achieving this state of bliss about which you have mentioned in your Blog. May God shower on you more and more peace, contentment and happiness.
Dear Skylark,
Thanks for reading through the blog and appreciating it.
Your question is 100% valid, because I have been there (up until March 2007) and done that.
And you are right, as a human being I need to love each human being, seeing the God in them.
But, before I started detaching, I used to miserable in US missing my father and family (in India) and was overstressed about my daughter's severe allergies. I was way too attached and therefore always too anxious. But when I realized we all are God's and are just together (as per divine plan), it eased me out. I felt easy when I started detaching. It was like releasing more thread for the kite to fly, instead of holding the kite onto my chest as my possession.
A detailed answer to this is in the very first writing on blog, put up in August, 2007. It is called "Seeking Happiness from Relationships" and is at http://surrenderlistenandgive.blogspot.com/2007/08/seeking-happiness-from-relationships.html.
I hope you will read this writing and write back to me.
These are great questions and if you wish I would like to talk to you more about it (may be off line at cgunjan@gmail.com).
Once again, I do appreciate your writing to me.
Gunjan
Thanks for your response. It is making some sense to me now. Of course, I will read all your Posts - in fact, cursorily, I have but then these are complex thoughts (for me) and I will have to do serious reading. I can of course get in touch with you Mail also but then Blog also is a good medium, so that others can also participate if they wish. Anyway, email option is open to both of us! Thanks once again best wishes
Thanks Skylark,
I appreciate your coming back and readidng it. Yes, these are very complex concepts which even once deciphered are extrememly dificult to implement. Almost like a fresh Ph.d. topic, understanding (is the theoretical part) and trying to implement (is conducting the corresponding experiment against all odds).
This morning I realized that the complete idea behind detachment is to be able to see the divinity in all beings and love everyone equally (despite of how mean or indifferent they are towards me).
It is very difficult to do it, infact it is hard to love people beyond family and close friends, leave aside harsh, unkind people.
But, I feel this happens only when the connection with the divinity within is so strong and close that one can see only divine light in all beings (like Mother Teresa, Amma, Gandhi, Buddha, Dalai Lama etc do and did). Since there are (and have been) living examples, so it must be true. I believe it is true and possible, even though I am not there yet.
You know, but I think it is a good goal to pursue.
Thanks for making me think.
Good luck to you in all your goals.
Kind Regards,
Gunjan
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