Now, I can have fun for the sake of it (poem)

I used to feel very uncomfortable with judgements.

Yesterday, I realized in evening meditation, that when I experienced judgements of parents/adults/friends as a child, without my awareness, I kept on adding it to my baggage of samskaras. The bag became heavier, as I grew, till I seeked God sincerely, for the first time and experienced love without any conditions (unconditional w/o any judgements).

Now, I can see, that all of us carry this baggage, including my own parents/grandparents/siblings/friends, who do love me, but are trapped under the burden of their own baggages, and helplessly, pass it onto me, without their awareness. And I have been doing the same, with my dear people too, till it hit me and I became aware that its the judgement which is blocking me from loving.

Also, all of us turn out to be an oppressor or a victim, depending on relative weight of the "judgement" stuff in our own baggage and that of the one I am interacting with. And, its poison, will keep on spreading, till we seek/get, unconditional Universal love, through some Masters or God within.

In other words, the person who I feel is judging me, has been judged tremendously (perhaps even more than I've been); for his baggage load is clearly heavier and spilling out in front of me.

So, if the person who is judging me and not loving me (for however, justified the fact may be), and he is expecting love explicitly, in his words of complain. Then, I 've got to be with God, Krishna, Gurus. Then, from genuine empathy, I need to give him God's love, with all kindness and gentle words.

But, if he's standing strong, judging, complaining, implying "I don't need anything from you." Then also I've got to be with God, Krishna, Gurus. And if I can, radiate God's love silently towards him (for, perhaps his baggage is so heavy that he does not even know, that he desperately needs unconditional love).

Anyways, I've just got to thank God (if I an in that moment of frustration), surrender mine and the other person's frustrations, towards God, and seek and deflect silently Gods love, towards him. And, there is nothing more I can do.

For that person has got to take care of his baggage, sooner or later.

In nutshell, these three steps, (if I can follow, in that volcanic moment) greatly heal me:

1. Being with God-Krishna-Guru (keeps me from helplessly judging myself and others).

2. Thank You God, please take this interaction (keeps me from increasing my baggage).

3. God bless me and "X", Your child (fills my body with soothing unconditional love).

Therefore, I pray, may God bless, all beings everywhere with unconditional love.

Today, I deeply express my gratitude to all the Masters, who have cleansed my samskaras to reveal this to me.

For, now, I am no longer a victim, instead, I am unconditional love, in each breath that I am with my God, Krishna, Guru.

***



I was not good at Sports, as a child,
my friends would say, "I don't want you in my team",
and I stopped playing any sports, to keep me from this pain,
focused only on the academics, music and dance, where I excelled.

Yesterday, I was playing at mini golf with my family,
my husband said, "It takes you forever to shoot it into hole.....",
but, I continued hitting, for I was having fun with my son, on his b'day,
and I could feel my God loving me same, whether, I shot into the hole, in 1 or 10 hits.

Thank You God, Krishna and Gurus
***
Aum Tat Sat (God is the only Truth)